Neeta Sharma

Neeta Sharma wrote a post :

Neeta Sharma


I am generally a sociable and trusting person. I like meeting people, talking to them, listening to them and sharing their emotions. Maybe more so cause that's part of my job. But in the last one month I had two experiences which scared me a little bit and made me doubt my approach to people. 

I have been reporting for almost 17 years now. I have met all sorts of people, travelled to the most "shady" places but never once did I have any doubt about my approach towards people ....about the way I tackled them. I have always managed to get out of a situation before it became sticky. 

It sounds regressive but for  us women eve teasing is a way of life. We have been brought up that way-we don't mind if  people sometimes whistle at us or make hoot calls. Born and brought up in Delhi,  I am also used to all of it. 

But two incidents in  the last one month shook me up. The first incident outside on the streets and the second inside my house. In the first a stranger was involved and in the second a person whom I knew for last three years and who has been working for our family for years. 

I like walking. So these days I used to take a metro ride home and walk from metro station to my house which is about two kilometres away. On one such evening while I was walking I passed a young man leaning on a scooty with a tennis racket in his hand. 

I might have walked 500 metres when I saw him again ahead of me. This time I tried to see his face discreetly and passed him by. Again a few metres ahead I saw him. To avoid any untoward situation I crossed the road and started walking on the other side. 

I thought I will just cross over but I was wrong he started his scooter and came to the other side. Seeing this I again crossed over to the opposite direction.  He still did not give up. I had to run about 250 metres to avoid him. For those few seconds I was petrified.  

This incident shook me so much that now I don't walk but take a rickshaw back home if I travel by metro. In a small way this incident changed me. 

In the second incident another man who has been working for our family for years. He has been  painting and polishing our home and furniture. 
For the last three years he has been working for me also. Never once have I doubted him. But lately he too started behaving strangely. I started feeling a bit "icky" around him. But I overlooked it. 

Once he came to my house on the pretext of painting my potted plants and when I was talking to him suddenly lunged towards me. Luckily I moved away fast enough and asked him to go away from my house. As soon he left I locked my doors. 

But this incident made me whole bit nervous once again. 
Worse, I started having doubts  about the way I speak to people. Do I get too friendly with people? Did I in someway encourage his behaviour?

Though I have been covering incidents like this for years now and have tried to as far as possible objectively reported them, but when something happens to oneself all rationality fades away.   I too lost confidence in myself and started questioning myself. 

I thought I need to change. Last few days I became wary of people. I started blaming myself for not reading the 'right' signals and putting myself in danger. 

All that I read about  techie Swathi who was killed by her stalker came into my head. Maybe she too ignored warning signals. She spoke about her stalker to her family but did not take any precautions. 

But the Uber incident in Kolkata wherein a young girl was threatened of rape by a driver, she did take care. She took timely action. 
After a lot of effort and a lot of thinking, it made me realise it's not me ....who is at fault. 

Anything can happen anywhere with anyone. I don't need to change myself or become bitter. I should not let two bad incidents define my approach to people.  I just need to be a little more careful.... I am taking  more precautions now and soon I know I will gain my lost confidence in myself again.
3 years ago

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LALIT KIROLA : 1 year ago
It feels really bad mam you should have taken some action against them you have that required power and ...more
Subramani Iyer : 1 year ago
all are fear and threat with modi govt.

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